Should i feel angry and enraged about this?

Life is a to many of us! I understand your pain. I had a lot of trouble making and keeping friends, still do pretty much. I do however have very strong family ties, so that has helped me. i see how this is even harder for you. It is possible that people have just lost contact with you though, and not on purpose, maybe you are a little paranoid. I know I get a little paranoid sometimes too. I wish I knew how to help or answer you better. Maybe try joining a support group for other people who have borderline personality, if one exists. I don't see why there wouldn't be one. Try to feel better!